Where did the button come from anyways? Where is the button? It's helpful to realize we are the ones with the buttons. There is nothing to be ashamed of either. We need to be curious about what is going on in order to become free from these painful reactions. The button is in our minds and it is usually placed there based on past experiences. Memories of painful experiences or joyful experiences get laid down in the normally dormant layers of our consciousness. Occaisonally we either see, hear, touch, feel or even think of something which triggers a response in us that seems un-related to the current context. We are reacting to something that is conditioned within us.
For example, when my mother died I was holding a cordless phone taking instructions for giving CPR from a 911 operator. Two years later I was at home on a teleconference holding a cordless phone and got extremely angry for no apparent reason and my behavior on the phone seemed completely out of proportion for the situation. I started yelling at everyone. It was an important moment because I was able to recollect in that moment holding the phone, that I had been giving CPR. Having my button pushed pointed at a difficult moment that I had not yet properly acknowledged.
Meditation practice may have provided the clarity necessary for me to make the connection and to look into my needs for grieving that were being suppressed. What can often happen is that we blame the situation in front of us for the reaction and fail to make the connection. Yes, there is something pushing our buttons, yet where is the button and why is it there? It can be an important key to healing what could be holding us back. Blaming the external situations that trigger our upheavals can cause more suffering and really just distracts us from getting to know what is really going on beneath the surface.
Recovery from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) is described as the point when the person recovering from the trauma is able to reflect on the events and realize what happened is in the past. Once the event is not longer seen as a present event, but put into proper perspective, the reaction to the trigger fades. This doesn't mean we have PTSD when we get triggered, yet the process is similar.
So, when someone is pushing your buttons, feel free to give them some credit for triggering a response in you, yet if you are interested in understanding yourself you may want to look at the button itself. Freedom from such suffering could be in the palm of your own hand. These buttons are only a temporary covering over the deeper experience of mind so there is no need to get discouraged when they get pressed. Its just a good time to get even more curious.
.... see part 2 Triggering Mindfulness by clicking here.
