Button Pushers: Meditaton, Yoga and Triggers # 1.

Before I write about recognizing the true nature of mind, it would be good to talk about buttons. Its important not to get discouraged by how we react to situations on the meditation journey. You may have heard the phrase "That person really knows how to push my buttons!" When we get upset by the words or the presense of another person, it often feels as though they are the ones causing the emotional response. From the meditative point of view, however, we can take a close look at our own minds for the source of the suffering and for the source of freedom from that suffering. Buttons are a good example of this.

Where did the button come from anyways? Where is the button? It's helpful to realize we are the ones with the buttons. There is nothing to be ashamed of either. We need to be curious about what is going on in order to become free from these painful reactions. The button is in our minds and it is usually placed there based on past experiences. Memories of painful experiences or joyful experiences get laid down in the normally dormant layers of our consciousness. Occaisonally we either see, hear, touch, feel or even think of something which triggers a response in us that seems un-related to the current context. We are reacting to something that is conditioned within us.

For example, when my mother died I was holding a cordless phone taking instructions for giving CPR from a 911 operator. Two years later I was at home on a teleconference holding a cordless phone and got extremely angry for no apparent reason and my behavior on the phone seemed completely out of proportion for the situation. I started yelling at everyone. It was an important moment because I was able to recollect in that moment holding the phone, that I had been giving CPR. Having my button pushed pointed at a difficult moment that I had not yet properly acknowledged.

Meditation practice may have provided the clarity necessary for me to make the connection and to look into my needs for grieving that were being suppressed. What can often happen is that we blame the situation in front of us for the reaction and fail to make the connection. Yes, there is something pushing our buttons, yet where is the button and why is it there? It can be an important key to healing what could be holding us back. Blaming the external situations that trigger our upheavals can cause more suffering and really just distracts us from getting to know what is really going on beneath the surface.

Recovery from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) is described as the point when the person recovering from the trauma is able to reflect on the events and realize what happened is in the past. Once the event is not longer seen as a present event, but put into proper perspective, the reaction to the trigger fades. This doesn't mean we have PTSD when we get triggered, yet the process is similar.

So, when someone is pushing your buttons, feel free to give them some credit for triggering a response in you, yet if you are interested in understanding yourself you may want to look at the button itself. Freedom from such suffering could be in the palm of your own hand. These buttons are only a temporary covering over the deeper experience of mind so there is no need to get discouraged when they get pressed. Its just a good time to get even more curious.

.... see part 2 Triggering Mindfulness by clicking here.

Tis The Season to Panic

Is anyone anxious this time of year? You may blame it on Christmas or Holiday preparations or maybe you live with anxiety on a regular basis. If you are busy like me and have had some experience with trauma, anxiety is often all too familiar. If you practice mindfulness or if you are interested in mindfulness, yet struggle with anxiety then there is a model which actually makes use of anxiety. True, it is hard to remain mindful during a period or episode of anxiety, yet that does not mean that we are a failure at practicing mindfulness. What it does mean is that something needs to be tended to or changed so that we can return to a state of reasonable balance and regain our ability to appreciate the present. Some researchers in Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome define one's threshold for tolerance of stressors as the point where one is no longer able to remain mindful. I was speaking with a psychologist who described it as your "check engine light". In both descriptions it is a threshold where you reach a peak and your nervous system is sending you a strong signal.

Just being aware of that anxiety is mindfulness, yet we don't experience it as pleasant. In a way that visceral experience of anxiety is the best friend we have in that moment because it really is trying to tell us something. In general it means that the number of stressors or stressful stimuli, whatever they may be, has reached an unbearable point. This is not medical advice so this is my disclaimer. We all need to take responsibility for our health, yet it may be helpful to reflect on a few ideas here from both the mindfulness traditions as well as what is being uncovered by neuroscience. My teacher talks about strategic retreat. There are certain times in our journey when we need to retreat away temporarily to the safety of meditation practice which might mean just taking ten minutes to sit when things are getting out of control. Sometimes that is enough to lessen the anxiety and get a fresh perspective on these stressors, some of which are often our own creation. If neuroscience is correct then our primitive brain, which is not something that we can reason with, has taken over and we are in a state of sympathetic arousal, or the "fight or flight response". Nowadays we don't have many outlets for stress in the daily grind which would be appropriate. Running out of the Mall or punching the person in the line up in front of you are thankfully not the best option. So the check engine light comes on and we will often have to ignore it or procrastinate dealing with it. Another reaction we might have is to freeze. This is the less talked about part of the stress response. When we don't have the option to run or fight, then we can freeze. In this state the there is intense fear yet we become somewhat immobilized. You may still move about but there is an emotional and physical constriction in the breathing and mind going on. So I think its important to recognize that even though we may not be running or fighting that the freezing aspect of this response can be under-appreciated.

If we are outside our threshold of tolerance and cannot seem to get grounded in mindfulness or the present moment seems unbearable and out of reach then that is really important information. When the check engine light is on we had better do something about it. Mindfulness practice like sitting can help but we also need to take a look at the cause and effect relationships that are going on and look at why stressors have reached such a point. This kind of looking is also mindfulness but it may not get as good press because we have to look into areas that are causing us suffering. Looking at cause and effect is also mindfulness. Taking steps to bring life back into balance is compassionate action for oneself and others. That is the real potential of mindfulness practice.

So this feels like a big can of worms I have opened here but I am going to leave it at that for now and leave you with two articles, one on mindfulness and anxiety and one on mindfulness and depression.
Dealing with Anxiety:
http://www.kprschools.ca/Staff/HealthWellbeing-DealingwithAnxiety.html
Mindfulness and Depression:
http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/12/06/mindfulness-as-good-as-antidepressant-drugs-study-says/

Seasons Greetings,

Mike